Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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