I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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