So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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