I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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