Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
