he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
