weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
false alarm, still single
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
