He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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