Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
