i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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