Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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