I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
