Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
