Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
