i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
