Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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