Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
NoShamevember. You game?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
