At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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