my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's official drugs can't kill me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
