I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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