...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
