Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
