How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
