i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ikea night.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
