Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
