David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
