My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
