If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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