Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My pussy is not your playground.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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