I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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