brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
