he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
