Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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