we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
