he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
