is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
