Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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