I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
