shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
