2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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