He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want to be your penis for a week.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
