If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
