What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
