DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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