somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize