Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize