I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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