I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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