her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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