You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize