He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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