went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
