Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
