Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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